Short jokes
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.
You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The statue stands for something.
Why couldn't the Japanese man give a high five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Will my suicidal thoughts leave me too if I get attached to them?
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.
It didn't land too well.
Why do orphans hate going to Costco? Because they need a parent to get samples.
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.
If you're American outside the restroom, what are you in the restroom?
European.
What are you on your way to the bathroom?
Russian.
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.
What's the most expensive haircut in the world?
Chemotherapy.