Short jokes
Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.
What is long and not hairy?
The conga line in the cancer department.
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.
What is killing your friend called?
A homie-side.
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.
The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.
A depressed boy went to high five a tree, guess what the tree did?
The tree left him hanging.
An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."