Short jokes
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday.
The ungrateful boy sat in his wheelchair the whole time.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy.
GO AWAY!
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?
Kinder
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.
What is Stephen Hawking's least favorite movie?
Standing Tall.
Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.
Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.
I hate myself.
Girls are like blackjack; you shoot for 21, but I keep hitting 14.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
Yo mama so stupid she threw a Mother's Day party at an orphanage.
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.
Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!