Short jokes
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
Friends are like penguins.
If you stab a penguin, they die.
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.
What’s a cannibal's favorite takeaway shop?
The orphanage.
What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
Roses are red.
My soul is black.
I am never getting my dad back.
What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Suite dreams.
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
What’s the difference between a child and a suicider?
One stays quiet forever...
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Guys, my sister's pregnant!
I'm finally a dad!
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.
The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them.