Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
Short Jokes
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?
A: My dad didn't beat cancer...
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
What's an orphan's favorite game?
GTA, because they're actually wanted? Lol.
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
I wish I could kill my family, but you realize you're an orphan.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
