Short jokes
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At night, before I got in bed with my girl, I had 206 bones, but I developed a 207th bone.
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.
What do you call Anne born in May? A Maybe.
You know sex is better than logic, but I could've proved it...
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.
Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].
Eggshausted.
"Bill, never do that again."
Joe Mama!
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
"Time"? More like waiting.
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”
Were you born on a highway? Because that's where accidents mostly happen.
What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.
Your hairline is so wonky, "Wheels on the Bus" goes round and round on your hairline.
If you ever thought you were gay, remember that cockroaches exist.
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.