Short jokes

Short jokes

Bar

A horse and a bear walk into a bar... Oh wait, can't tell that one!

Orangutan

You never told me you were part orangutan. Have you considered taking a vacation to Planet of the Apes?

Computer

So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.

Difference

What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?

When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.

Year

What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?

There's twenty of them!

Pump

So I was making slime, so I put glue, and a lil' pump of lotion and slime activator. Ahah, lil pump, get it?

Clock

Why did the moron throw his clock out the window?

The clocks reminded him of Richard Clock, the convict who knife-raped his wife.

Tree

Question: Why can't you trust a tree?

Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.

Human

What do you call a dead human?

A DEAD HUMAN! HAHAHahahah ha.. ha.. ha Am I the only one laughing?

Song

What’s Stephen Hawking's favorite song? Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.