Short jokes

Short jokes

Fire Alarm

So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out of the classroom, the only fire they saw was out of a gun.

War

Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?

Scissors beat paper.

Wife

I told my wife she was lousy in bed.

She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"

Life

Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?

...

You do realize that I said nothing, right?

Me: Exactly :)

Surgery

I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.

9/11

I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.

School

I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.

Kid

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!

Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.

Orphan

Why can't an orphan hit a home run? Because they don't know where home is.