Short jokes

What happens when two walls meet?

They are cornered.

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

I don't know why everyone cares so much about 3D printers. I've had a Canon printer for years.

I like tacos more than you like tacos.

Who likes more tacos?

Mee! said the taco.

What do you call a club that owls go to?

Hooters.

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."

I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."

He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."

Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!

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Why did the vampire go to the doctor?

Because of his coffin.

Actually doing homework.

Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.

This site.

There was an enemy with a machine gun.

My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."

So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.

Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.

What did the ball say to the other ball? "You're baller!"

What do you call a person who tries to get you on a dating website... a Brodie.

Why can't an orphan go on away games?

Their parent will never show up!

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Some people don't appreciate what I do for a living.

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