Short jokes
You hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.
So people call me poor until they see my bank account.
Staring (DYM 119).
What da dog doin'?
Minivan (DYM 138).
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents aren't there to push them on the swing!
Hey, I haven't been on for like 2 months. I don't know who is still on here or like if everyone left, but yuh, I just decided to come back. Hey.
Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?
Brother: Why though?
Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.
Looks dragon!
Draggin' these nuts across yo face!
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.
I was digging in a garden once and found a chest full of gold. I wanted to show my wife, but then I thought about why I was digging in the first place.
What is one question on a tech test you should always ask before getting down?
What in the Robot!?
1+1=3, just add 9 months.
Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swaggart worry about his premature ejaculation problem?
A: He believes in the second cumming.
Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?
What was the name of a Roman guide?
Guide Gius.