Short jokes
If I get an atom, I would split it with you.
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
Stop putting up bad jokes, boi!
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
Bird on the beach: seagull.
Bird by the bay: bagel.
Bird down south Philly Walmart parking lot: illegal.
What did one canyon say to the other?
You stay here, I'm gonna rise up on ahead.
What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?
A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.
Why did the orphan not play baseball? Because he couldn't find home.
Why did Pikachu chase Ash?
Because he wanted to Ketchum.
When you start sweating after filling in "C" for the third time in a row.
Q: What kind of building weighs the least?
A: A lighthouse!
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
What do you call a mug? A mug dummy.
What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
Where is Australia?
East Richmond has a train station at East Richmond, but Richmond is better, why?
Hey Gwen, reply to me and say if everything is alright.
How was your day, Freshfry?
Why you always in a mood?
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."