Short jokes
I wrote "my pen is big," but forgot to space "pen is."
Have you ever been eight before?
You were between 7 and 9.
What do you call a flamingo with 20 toes?
A flamingo.
Why is Donald Trump president?
So he can deport Mexicans to Mexico.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My I.
May I who?
May I put this pussy on your mouth?
Why can’t orphans fly? Because they’re still winging it.
How do you get away with rape?
Orphan jokes? They protest.
Do not sort... that's bad... *sigh in depression*
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?
Dumb right wingers.
Mike Pence should have been eaten like Trump fans were saying!
Yo mama so fat, her future is brighter than VY Canis Majoris!
Why do emo kids not run? Because their bodies will tear apart from the bones from all the cuts.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.
Jane ate her friend’s colon.
Me: I call my girl Cinderella.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because she loves balls.
Why was the orphan so bad at basketball? He had no encouragement.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
For the same reason a ship won't stay afloat with holes in the bottom.
What is Osama bin Laden and his al-Qaeda organization's favorite song?
It's raining planes! Hallelujah!
Did you fart, cause you blew me away?