Short jokes

I'm serious, what's a "dad?"

Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.

Why were you born?

Because I asked out your mom on accident.

If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, would he go to hospital or Curry's PC World?

How did Steven Hawking die?

His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ieatmop. I eat mop who? Eww, you eat your poo?

What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?

Nothing.

Trump.

I ain’t a chicken, but I ate a duck before.

What did the American say to the Russian?

"Why are you always Russian?"

Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?

It's ok, he didn't either!

How do you cook macaroni? With a shark-spoon-a-rooni!

Which is the worst place to sit at in a wedding?

Between 2 buttcheeks.

My wife told me, "Don't buy 1 gun while on your trip," so I decided to buy 2 guns instead.

The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.

Can I get a glass of water? I will give you anything you ask.

Really, then give me a pond of water.

I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.

Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.

I like my women like I like my wine.

Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.

I guess this is pretty plane.

I am sorry I am just winging it.

Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.

Wow, I just landed that one!