I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"
Short Jokes
Guys, I have a dilemma. I'm a beta, please help!
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swaggart worry about his premature ejaculation problem?
A: He believes in the second cumming.
My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Landing Greasy Grove.
Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"
What do you call staring stares?
Stares.
I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"
Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?
Tell him you don’t believe in dog.
Have you seen my uncle?
Jesus: I have.
God: Me too.
Bob, why are you kicking the kids?
What, it's not like they have a home to go to.
Sonic Boom in my ass.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
Eastern Europe and Western Europe is a joke.