Short jokes
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.
A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.
It was because he didn't speak French.
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
5+2 = 7
But 4+3 also = 7
So take your own path.
What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"
He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
What do you call a fish with no legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Break!
The only hood I like is pointy and white.
That's why I can't trust people when I don't see their face at night.
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
There were 20 people in a box. There was not mushroom.
Press F to pay respects to Grumpy Cat!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
My dad was on a hotdog with ketchup.
Sub to Pwediepie!
We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."
Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.
How do you quiet a baby down?
Make baby back ribs for dinner.
Why is sex with pandas so much fun?
I don't know, it just is. 🐼