Short jokes
9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.
What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?
Not getting the job at McDonald’s.
I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.
Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushion.
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.
Connor Davison
Why is my pee green? Because, "NEIN, ITCH BIEN FIRST REICH!"
A child's parents once lived in Chicago.
I wonder why he's in an orphanage now.
"kys" (keep yourself safe).
What's the difference between me and you?
I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!
If a pirate was a pervert, he would say, “Are you ready, kid?”
When did the cheetah steal from the bakery?
On Black Friday!!!
Roses are red, My cat try to kill your next >:)
Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.
What’s an autistic person's favorite movie:
A Quiet Place?
My pp was in the Guinness World Record book.
The librarian then asked me to take it out.
"Ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"I stepped on a screw."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"