Short jokes

There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"

What can hold anything on the moon? A crater.

When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?

SHUT UP!!!

You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.

This is a classic.

Why did the Dog go into the fire?

Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

I'm in school lol.

What did the hecadrocophodecadus say to the hopetihopetifuckendecker?

"It didn't happen, but it should have."

Your mom is so fat, they asked if she was a sumo wrestler.

Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.

Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.

Teacher: Why?

Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.

What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?

Cooking the vegetables.

"Zre, um, be careful when using a gun, okay? And meh not fat, boy."

You know how they said weight people can't jump? Check out the 9/11 videos.

What is an owl that wears armor?

What’s an orphan’s favorite holidays? Mothers’ and Father’s Day.

What games do bats like to play at recess?

How does Stephen Hawking have sex?

Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.

Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.

Orphan: I don’t have parents.

How do gay guys finish prayer?

“GAYMEN!”

Beach whales.

What type of place would Papyrus hang out at?

The SPA-ghetti!

*insert ba dum tss here*