Mollusk jokes

What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.

What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.

I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.

Why didn't the oyster share its pearl?

Because it was a cunt.

All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...

Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.

Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.

And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.

There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...

There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.

So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?

Why do the French eat snails?

They don't like fast food.

What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.

A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"