Mollusk jokes
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
Why didn't the oyster share its pearl?
Because it was a cunt.
I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.
All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...
Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.
Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.
And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.
There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...
There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.
So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"
Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.