Short jokes
What do orphans do at parent teacher meetings?
I rub lipstick on my forehead to make up my mind.
Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale?
It comes with no strings attached.
Why do Chinese people like playing Among Us?
It’s the only place they can vote!
Americans: Miles per hour.
Europeans: Bullets per kid...
What do you call a pole dancer?
A stripper.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Asian conversation:
Person 1: Ni hao, how's it going?
Person 2: Konnichiwa, what's up?
Person 1: I've bing chilling.
Are you a dog because you're a fucking bitch?
Your mamma so fat Thanos had to clap 4 times.
What makes you guys high?
I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
"What do you want to eat?"
"You choose."
"Children."
"What?"
*Picks up pot*
"You said anything!"
Why did the booty get a job?
To make ends meet!
How do asses communicate?
Through booty calls!
How do butts start a conversation?
"Let's cut to the chase!"
What do you call a smart booty?
A wise-crack!
Say "urine egger" five times fast.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his FLOW-CULUS.
I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.
I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."