Short jokes
Haha
I find bananas very appeeling.
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
Which category is glory in?
Cats.
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Why are most West Virginians going to hell?
Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
Where did Alice go during the explosion?
Everywhere.
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?
Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.