Short jokes
Roses are red,
My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a "fret."
What is Ba + 2Na?
Ans. Banana.
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Haha
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
Are you beef?
Because you're Carlos-Asada.
What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?
GAY
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
Stephen Hawking will be greatly missed for the time he walked this Earth.
What type of apple grows on a tree?
All of them.
What kind of punch hurts a kid the most?
A sandy hook.
I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
Applesauce.
How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.
Jasper likes little girls and Bin Laden.