What is the difference between an orange and an orphan?
The orphan always gets picked... Oh wait, I meant an orange always gets picked.
Short Jokes
Why did the rhino eat the car?
Poop.
Every Dorito bag for orphans is family sized.
I wanna fight Gwen!
You are adopted.
No cap. No one loves you.
Bye.
I have a body count of 7.
Dude, I lied.
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?
After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no balls?
Still no fucking idea.
What do ants use when they're stinky?
Deodorant.
Person 1: Wasn’t Stephen Hawking on X Factor?
Person 2: No, why would he be on X Factor?
Person 1: For dancing.
I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigarettes at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
What's the difference between a dick and a rock?
One's hard.
Ed is Ed in bed, full of head.
Why do orphans love Dom Toretto?
Because "family is everything!"
Hiiiiiiiihihihi.
Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?