Short jokes
I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).
How are Jews and potatoes different?
A potato keeps its skin.
What do women and appliances have in common?
If they don't work, hit them until they work.
What do feminists do when they fail at something?
Blame men for sexism and misogyny.
All the children ate at the Indian restaurant, except for Simon, because he was eaten by the restaurant owner.
Why are Black people afraid of ghosts?
Because ghosts remind them of the KKK.
Are you gay? "No." Oh, so you're not happy? "No." Oh...
Q: What's an orphan's favorite porn site?
A: Motherless.
Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)
Did you know they made a porn site for pirates?
It's called Heavy Arrrrrrg.
How many Joe Biden jokes are there?
None, because they're all true.
What does Army stand for?
Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet.
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.
What does Marine stand for?
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.
Why does the Marine Corps have the best uniforms?
Because the Navy wants their bitches to look nice.
I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.
I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."
Abortions are a way for whores to dodge accountability.
What do you call a woman who sleeps with multiple men?
A whore.
What is the difference between a grandmother and a maid?
One is hope and the other is soap.
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.