Short jokes
What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg.
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future.
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
Answer: A promise.
There's a plane crash. Every single person died.
Who lived? The married people!
What do you mean cook? We wait till summer.
Madeline Mcannot find her.
"I know, you have a lot on your plate right now."
My speech impediment has gotten so worse that I stutter when typing sentences.
Does anyone go to Eagle High School? Tell me what classes you have from 1st period to 4th period if you go to Eagle High School.
Why did the stick fall?
Because he is a stick man.
What do you call a dick with three eyes?
Preston.
Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?
A: Home to see their mama!
I had something about tripping over ice.
Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.
If at first you can't succeed, then wait to be the last!
My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.
My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.
Somebody told me to type "Up" by Cardi B. So here it goes:
Up
Is it just me, or is it normal to you when people scream?
Hey, how is everyone today? Cause I am feeling great!
"Soph, can we talk?"
I'm so frickin' bored! Please, somebody want to chat? PLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE!