Short jokes
A skeleton had a job interview, but he looked messy.
I had to fix his collarbone.
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
Grandma, I can’t believe I have Alzheimer’s.
One second later, Well at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?
Nothing, it was feeling blue.
My name is Mike Oxmaul, and my friend's name is Hugh Janus!
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.
What is a dog?
An animal.
What is a dog?
A pet.
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
What did one nut say to the other nut? "Help!"
"Paper is 2D!" said Pen.
"No, it's 3D!" said Pencil.
After Pencil proved it to Pen, Pen said, "Oh, I suppose you're write."
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!
What is your name?
My ankle is named Samantha.
Why do kids have school every day? So that they can learn.