Short jokes
When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"
What phone do midgets use?
A MICROphone.
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
I slit my wrists.
Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.
Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"
Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"
Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?
Dad: He had a nap.
Kid: Where is he now?
Dad: HELL!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YEEEEEEEEEEEEE YEE YEEEEE
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?
IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?
A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
I like whiteboards.
They're quite re-markable.
Why did the skeleton not tell jokes? It lost its funny bone. Maybe you should try putting it back.
One orphan said, "Daddy, chill." I was like, "You don't have a dad!"
I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why was the orphan able to avoid getting into trouble at school?
Because they couldn’t call his parents!
Why was the tamale in the hospital? Because he was a "tamalito."