When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
Short Jokes
Prostitutes remind me of chewese.
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.
Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?
Yeah.
Why?
Because I got too obsessed with hares.
Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.
Patrick: *picks up nuke*
Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!
Patrick: Yes.
Nuke: *boom*
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
Why did the wheel fall?
Because there were too many fat people on it.
Does anyone have an Xbox One? My gamertag is Chalkyfrog11. Add me and comment on this post telling me your gamertag.
Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...
Uranus has a lot of poop. Yeah. That is my joke.
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.
NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.
Why do mummies have trouble making friends?
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
What does the Titanic sell most?
Icebreakers.
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.
HOLY CRAP!!!
Crap with holes in it.
Get it? HOLE - Y?
Professor Poopypants!!!