Short jokes
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.
I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.
"Bully," omg, that girl is so ugly.
"Me," Wait, what...ever.
What did the pen say to the pencil?
The pen said, "You're pointy."
If there was a zombie apocalypse, girls would make a "forehead apocalypse" since it is so big.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.
Violence isn't the answer. It's the question, and the answer is yes.
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
Why can’t orphans tell these jokes?
Because they're fun for the whole family to hear.
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
What do you call a failure in another language?
Me.
Where are your parents? Oh, behind you? Not any more.
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?
I spy.
My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.
What's after R-P-G?
W.