Short jokes

Short jokes

Jew

A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”

Plane

This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."

Teacher

A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:

"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."

Dick

Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?

Difference

What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?

A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.

Sex

*walks into sex shop*

Hello. I would like to buy 1 sex, please.

Nun

Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?

Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.

Vegetable

Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.

Asian

What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.