Short jokes
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
A skeleton had a job interview, but he looked messy.
I had to fix his collarbone.
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
What do you call an orphan? Batman.
Why was the chicken black and the other were white? Adoption!
No one:
Literally no one:
Abraham Lincoln: *dies*
John Wilkes Booth: *ranks up*
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
Do you know who invented paper?
Cai Lun!
“RIP” Cai Lun.
Nuts, nuts, nuts!
What do you call a person with no eyebrows?
Ms. Burgos.
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
The reason I'm gay is because I'm scared of getting cooties.
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
I just came up with a really good deaf people joke! The great thing is that they won't be able to hear it!
This is my fidget spinner, I got it in my Easter basket.
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.