Short jokes
Kobe: "Don't crash!"
Helicopter: *Crashes*
Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
What is a Mexican's least favorite type of water?
I.C.E. water.
What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?
Seize your moment.
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?
"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"
R.I.P. Floyd.
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.
Yo mama so poor, the homeless donate to her.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. It was evolution.
My respect for you didn't just go through the roof, it touched the fucking sun!
If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.
They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!
Smoking a fag in Britain: 🚬
Smoking a fag in America: hate crime.
Fuck clankers. Wait, not like that.
Ahmed is a bomber for the Twin Towers.
You must be the square root of -1, because you can't be real.
Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Six, seven.
Are people still mad at Hasan from that dog incident? All he wanted to do was become the world’s first lightningbender.