Short jokes

Opal didn't hack RapBoat's account, she WAS RapBoat the whole time.

How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?

Cremation.

What did President Ford say when he met Betty?

"I am Gerald Ford and you’re hot."

How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?

He spoke softly and carried a big stick.

My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.

Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.

can someone please tell what happened?

I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.

Why did the African child wake up suddenly? Because he was being sexually abused.

What do the initials UAW stand for?

United Awesome Whores.

What did Mrs. Hotdog join after Mr. Hotdog joined LGBBQ+? The LGBBQ++ premium.

What do you call an Eskimo stripper?

A frosty-tute.

Why was Sonic fast?

To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.

Why is there no medication in Africa?

Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."

First bite: Oh my God!

Second bite: Oh my, God!

If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Name: Jack, call sign "triple".

School: Nova corps gun academy.

Location: Wyoming mountains.

What is a dog's favorite snack?

RUFFles.

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?

They’re jealous that autism can speak.

(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).