Short jokes
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.
Russia is worse than the USSR.
Russia is just a bonerless USSR.
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”
What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.
"Mommy, mommy! Are we janitors?"
"Shut up and pass me the mop."
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.
There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."
Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
Your mama is so fat, she sunk Atlantis even though it's in the ocean!
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
Hey, what do you call a beta simp?
You call me the beta simp.
What do / and \ have in common?
They have different results.
Texas be like, "We vote to freeze ourselves!"
Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!
"Homo Simpson"
Who needs sex when they have Valorant?