Short jokes

What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!

Where does Kristen Stewart get her virginity from? She gets it from her mama and papa.

"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."

Where would Batman get his freak on at? The Batcave or the bat strip club?

A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.

"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."

I smell like skunk.

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.

You're so short that you build a tiny house for yourself.

You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.

What do you call an ant with so much power?

A ter-mite.

It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.

You are short.

You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!

You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.

Mike Oxlong.

One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.

----> [] get in the door.

I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.