Short jokes
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always follow the beat.
Why was the rapper afraid of ghosts?
Because they kept booing him off stage!
Why did the rapper always carry a camera?
Because he wanted to "capture" the rap star!
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he couldn't stop DROPPING HITS.
How does a rapper stay warm in the winter?
With some HOT TRACKS!
Why did the rapper bring a fishing rod to the studio?
To reel in some KILLER HOOKS.
How does a rapper make tea?
He drops some HOT BARS into a cup.
What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?
Shakespeare.
ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.
Head and Shoulders!
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.
Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.
Guys, should I do it? You know what I mean.
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?