Short jokes
I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!
Have you seen all the pants with crazy designs on them? I mean, britches be crazy!
Wanna me to show you a joke?
*Points at face* Funny, right?
Why did the orphan have to stay at school?
Because they need to leave with a parent.
Love is in the air...
Wrong! Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air!
What's a chairmaker's favorite flavor?
Chair-y.
Is your middle name Fancy Feast?
'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.
Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?
Person B: Let me check.
Person B: It's greenglish!
Jerry: My dad got into a fight on a plane.
Jeremy: That's just *plane* crazy!
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.