Short jokes
Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.
Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
Trump's releasing the files.
To catch all the pedophiles.
He didn't know Epstein.
Didn't touch any teens.
I tried to rape Amy Winehouse, but she said, "No! No! No!"
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.
Harder than a diamond in an ice storm.
Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?
They're cool and chill.
Money, money, green, green. Money is all I need, need.
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”
A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.
Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.
What’s long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.
My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...
...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: The U.S. in 1919!
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite football team? New York Jets!!!
Why was the math book sad at the rap battle?
Because it couldn't count the bars!