Short jokes

Short jokes

Sleeping Pill

What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?

Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.

Verdict

We the jury are yet to deliver our final verdict, but we would like to have a guess.

Is it Mrs. Peacock with the candlestick in the library?

Megan

Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?

Dick

I wanna date you.

Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.

Heart

They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.

Adoption

What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?

Moses hits the adoption lottery!

Stoner

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?

A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

Movie

I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.

Napkin

My friend tried to sleep on napkins.

I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.