Short jokes
You fighting? More like you're dying!
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
Mamma mia abortion clinic!
Your loss is our sauce.
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
Why do people hate Velma now?
Because she joined the Dark Side.
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
Why are chickens so funny? Because...
Just looking for a cunt...
Oh hello, found one.
I'm Pastor Moe Mister, Moe Lester.
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.
Hoi!
Why did the sped kid get expelled?
Because he was tardy.
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.