Short jokes
I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!
Your mama is so ugly that when she walked in the bank, they had to turn off the cameras.
You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.
Why was the Pakistani bomber angry? Since he got a pepperoni instead of a plain [pizza].
Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
Bro, you were born in a local 7-Eleven bathroom.
Why can't dwarfs go to space? Because NASA is not sending monkeys into space anymore.
One, I grow some som more, yea, I am 4. I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, that's me.
Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.
What makes Squidward and a Quandale Dingle the same?
They both got them big parts.
Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
Why are the English so bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?
A. There was a daycare on the other side.
2 times 4 equals 18?
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You're sponsoring eBay with your hairline.
You're so ugly, that's why me and your hairline go far back.
Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.