Short jokes
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
Why did the elephant get kicked out of the public pool?
Because he kept on dropping his trunks! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?
Now he's a bronze fish.
The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Algorithm.
Algorithm who?
Think Algorithm to the store.
A stupid dolphin makes an annoying noise.
The dolphin did it on porpoise.
Why do doctors use so much lipstick?
Because they love cos-medics!
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
Did you hear about Fridgetair
Kelvinator?
No way, Jose!
"COVERBITCH, your worthless."
"Ya tryna run? Hop in the van."
What's up with airline food?
Bharat
Palabhai
Majama.
Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
My father can take a joke because he made one.
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!