Short jokes
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
Morbius is definitely one of the movies ever made. One of the movies of all time.
"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump
You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
What do you call a lion as a baby?
Cocota
Your hairline goes back to the Middle Ages.
Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!
Mine never stops.
I saw your license. It said you're 15.
I checked your face. It says you're 50.
I thought you were just raising your eyebrow, but I checked the x-ray, and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right.
Niall Devine, clown.
The potholes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden.
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!