Short jokes
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...
I was two tired.
If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
I was going to join the debating team.
... but someone talked me out of it.
A stupid dolphin makes an annoying noise.
The dolphin did it on porpoise.
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
What do you put on a cheeseburger? It's a wrap!
Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
I miss seeing my friends and teachers.
What is your name in my phone?
I love your house. I have been in your art for.
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
It's ice to see you.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
Why doesn’t Ganon search the web very often? Because there’s too many links.
I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.