Short jokes
You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
Biden did 9/10.
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
Average bee is 50x smarter than the smartest flat earther.
One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂
Your hairline is so far back that it made every country on earth disappear.
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
Pro lifers: End abortion!!!
Pro lifers after school shooting: But not this abortion.
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"
Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.
Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!
Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.
What dessert do you get on September 11th?
An ice cream flight!
Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.
Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.
Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
A self-raising flower.