Short jokes
What did the orphan say to the barber?
I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.
Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
Imagine if Batman had a family reunion!
Why drink water and not bleach?
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!
What the when what yeah what yeah then uh huh?
What do you call a very long bowl?
Manute Bowl.