Short jokes

My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...

Osama Bin Laden thrown in ocean!

People who helped with the Twin Towers destruction: ...

I traveled through time to get my dad back.

I failed because I was 1e21 years off.

I work at a movie studio.

Unfortunately, the team I was working with was useless.

The team:

I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.

They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”

I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.

But I got fired from that job.

I was working at Fredbear’s, but then I got bite of ‘83’d.

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.

But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.

The doctor had an ego so big, it fell into the ocean fast.

Some guy: making a sandwich.

Me: *rages* to put the ham in!

What is Ronaldo's favorite fruit?

Oranges because they have vitamin C.

What is your name? What am I pointing at? 👃🏽 And what am I holding? Hahaha!!!!! Knows nothing.

I'm about to cum!

What did the bread photographer say to the toast? Say, "Toasted cheese!"

Anybody can use this :)

Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Utah.

Utah who?

You're talking to me.

Man, I didn't know they put Humpty Dumpty back together!

Ferb is older than Phineas because his last line.

Ferb: "I’m boutta blow this sh*t!"

Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?

Because all they can do is mandate.