Short jokes
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
Reese's.
Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
Here via westwingman.net from Veep!
Never got a mother's love, lol.
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
"Go back to Party City, where you belong!" — Phi Phi O’Hara, RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
Guess what my plans are for the weekend? Suing the NYCDOE for blocking (probably) WEBTOONS.com.
Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.
Do y'all love Jesus, God? 🙏❤️
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
If BlessedBrian were any more two-faced, he’d be a Rubik’s Cube.
Real Pokémon.
Anxiety evolved into depression. Depression was the final stage evolution.
Kid: Dad, where do you work?
Dad: I.C.U.P.
Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.
You must work at McDonald's because you have a McDouble chin.
Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.