Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
Short Jokes
What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.
Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
Why did the judge dismiss court when the orphan walked in?
Even a gay prison wouldn't want him.
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
Hope this is good!
Why do they call him Mankind if he is always choke slamming people?
Ahhhhh shit! IT’S HUNTING SEASON y’all!
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
I want to cream, rn.
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
