Short jokes
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
If Thomas Running invented running, what did Paul Walker invent?
Dark humor is like water. It exists.
What’s red and white and black all over?
A dead white man at night time!
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner.
What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?
"Like ur cute g."
"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
Someday you'll go far.
Hispanic and Latino people be like, "No more immigrants!" Like, dude, aren't you an immigrant?
"I love all mankind!" said the cannibal.
Why do orphans suck at baseball? Because they never could play catch.
A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"
BA DUM TSS
How is the weather down there?
Orgasm means two things:
1. During you masturbate.
2. You torture phantoms.