Short jokes
Yo bro, look at this twig I found on the floor. Wait...
What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
What did Kobe say to the helicopter?
"Don't crash!"
Explain Bear, girl, you're tripping.
Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.
Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."
What is a woman's name with one leg?
Eileen.
What did the World Trade Center order from Domino's Pizza?
They ordered two large planes.
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
Siri is so ugly that she needs to go in the dumpster. She's so ugly that she needs to go in the toilet.
What do you call a guy with no body and nose?
No body nose
Kobe: "Don't crash!"
Helicopter: *Crashes*
Why did the Titanic cross the road?
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
What is a Mexican's least favorite type of water?
I.C.E. water.