Short jokes
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
"Why am I ugly?"
Google would like to operate your camera.
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
Dodo.
What's Bin Laden's favorite flavor of crisp? Plain.
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?
Microsoft.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite dance move? The worm.
Why did James fall off the swing?
He had no arms.
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
Louie Fennell.
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
What does a sponge do?
It talks to Patrick.
"Tayam, I am."
Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"
Person 2: "What is it?"
Person 1: "Plagiarism!"