Short jokes
No, "quarter quarter."
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite snake?
Microchips.
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Fix the door, it's broken!
What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
Rice Middle School
I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
Stephen Hawking, more like ice cream!
Ahhhhhhhhhh, ma bored.
What do you call a male ladybug?
Trans.
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
WALL-E
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?