Short jokes
What's the difference between you and me?
I have a plan for this new year.
So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.
I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
I got jealous when my phone died.
What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?
At least Daniel has a mom.
The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
I'm not transphobic. I just want transparency...
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.
Don't free Britney!
Is it classed as down under if you eat out an Australian chick?
In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.
"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.
Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?
To get the ice cream for the grandma.
Orphan: I love abcdefu!
Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.
What's the difference between emos and 9/11?
The emos are still there, high up off the ground.
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)