Short jokes
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
I AM FUCKING HAPPY AS HELL.
What is brown and sticky?
The leftovers of the iceberg.
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?
It was called Fall-adelphia.
Why do Orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents can't!
Are you a horse, because I want to ride you?
Your favorite music artist is Cardi B? I prefer Cardi A+ if I'm being honest.
What did COVID say to the American?
Nothing, it just took its breath away...
Is it classed as down under if you eat out an Australian chick?
In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.
What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?
"To bee or not to bee."
Why did NASA have to go to space? Because space is lonely.
"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.
What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?
White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)
The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.
I was about to joke about your life, but I think your life is already a joke.
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."