Short jokes
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
Your forehead is so big that teachers use it as a whiteboard.
I lost at Kahoot, so I had to ka-shoot.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
Call me an escalator because I let people down.
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."
Why are Muslims not fond of American cops?
Because Muslims don't like pigs!
My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
Go fuck yourself, cause I doubt anyone else will. 💅