Short jokes
what's the difference between hitler and you?
one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
Go commit neck rope.
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
I didn't come into the prostitution business...
It came into me.
Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
I was playing hangman, and I gave up on the word "LIFE".
You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
Isn't Gwen the most thoughtful person?
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.