What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
Short Jokes
Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
It's not rape if you're both crying.
I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
Go commit neck rope.
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
