Short jokes
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
Why are Muslims not fond of American cops?
Because Muslims don't like pigs!
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
Dad: "If they jumped off a bridge, would you?"
Tommy: "Yes, cuz there would be a body pile to break my fall!"
Go fuck yourself, cause I doubt anyone else will. 💅
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
Like if you think rape jokes are funny.
I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.