Short jokes
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁
If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?
What is a Irish 💋 😗 kiss 💋 a blowjob from a gay Irishman
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
what's the difference between hitler and you?
one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.
I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?
Raisins.
Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!