Short jokes
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
It's not rape if you're both crying.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?
Raisins.
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
Your forehead is so big that teachers use it as a whiteboard.
I lost at Kahoot, so I had to ka-shoot.
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
Call me an escalator because I let people down.