Short jokes
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
1 like = 1 kid in my oven. I'm trying to get followers and comments, please.
Why are Muslims not fond of American cops?
Because Muslims don't like pigs!
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.
Call me an escalator because I let people down.
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
Dad: "If they jumped off a bridge, would you?"
Tommy: "Yes, cuz there would be a body pile to break my fall!"
Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.