Why did my dad leave me and my mum?
I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"
Short Jokes
Reese's.
Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!
A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!
People are so f***ed up. I belated "Frickin' BTW!"
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.
What is the best part of a turkey? The drumstick!
Are you a horse, because I want to ride you?
Are you Pikachu? Cause I want to take a "pik" at you.
I scored.
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.
Yo mama is so dumb, she plays Pokémon and doesn’t catch any.
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.
"Yol, what do you think about sex?"
"Good."
Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
See if these nuts fit in your mouth.
Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.
When the cow goes, "moo," and sheep say, "baaa," and the bull says, "boo!"
Be careful around fire, plastic melts.
