Short jokes
Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?
A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.
I made this game called Ligma. Say it, "Ligma."
Lick my balls.
A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...
Me: Knock Knock
Her:
Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
"Sike, I lied, your dick is dry."
Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.
When the cow goes, "moo," and sheep say, "baaa," and the bull says, "boo!"
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
Be careful around fire, plastic melts.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Of a bad internet connection.
Who wants to fight!? Hate?! And pick on each other through the comments.
ANYONE?
A basketball player walks into a strip club:
"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
Why do orphans love church?
They finally have a father.
Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.
Are you going to SHOWCON?
What’s SHOWCON?
Show con these nuts.
It's the Olympics.
Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.
Fe fi foung better run and hide: Covid (really).