Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to skull.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to skull.
What do you cross with a cow and a tiger? (mooigter)
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...
Just kidding!
Hi dude!
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?
Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?
The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.
What’s your favorite food? Chode in the hole?
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.
What did you call a school that got blown up?
Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.