Short jokes

Short Jokes

Dad

Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.

Kid

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

Brother

My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.

Librarian

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

Elephant

Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?

Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.

Lawyer

What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

A rooster clucks defiance!

Orange Soda

I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.

Computer

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.

Dad

You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.