Short jokes

Princess Peach is a BUM!

I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"

Your forehead is so big it blocked my phone service!

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

"Ash."

"Ash who?"

"Bless you!"

Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?

That depressed kid in class: Dead.

I love you papi's! No homo.

They call me Juan, they call me Jose, but I'm Juan person.

What's the most difficult thing about being a pediatric surgeon?

Keeping the scalpel steady while masturbating.

Who does an orphan play soccer with?

No one.

People, please check out Tenya's jokes. Girl, love, cheetah, blue jokes!

Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"

Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"

Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"

Why did the knight cross the road?

He can't because his armor was too heavy.

Why did the mailman die?

Because everyone dies.

Would you like to win 100k?

Comment on my next video for a chance to win!

What type of phone do orphans have?

Android because they don't have a home button.

Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!

Bob Weir: Where are you going?

Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈

You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."

Why does Blake like lakes? Because of cake!

Why are orphans' funerals so small?

They have no loved ones.