Short jokes
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
Error.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he broke his charger.
What do you call a blonde?
A piss-head.
Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!
My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.
How did the air beat me at chess? It did that thing, haha!
What's Adam's biggest fear?
Andy with a belt.
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
Lol.
So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!
“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”
“Yes.”
“Did you hang ‘em?”
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Your mom who?
O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂