Short jokes
My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
Why don't some people like pennies?
Because it's common cents.
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
Everyone says "no homo," why do gays not say "no hetero?"
What is blue and sits in a corner? A baby in a baggy.
A termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bartender here?"
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
What is Sophia’s favourite song?
"Open Wide" cum inside, it is okay school.
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.
Sorry for posting this!
PP in the poo poo.
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.
Have you heard of bees? They're bee-utiful!
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
What's the hardest part about sex with a Thai girl?
Her, probably.
He jizzes canned cheese.