Short jokes

Short jokes

Halloween

I usually hang up Halloween decorations,

but this year I'm gonna be the decoration.

Grass

When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.

Dog

Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.

Cancer

1: My grandpa died last year.

2: What kind of cancer?

1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.

Mushroom

So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."

And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"

Guy

How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?

There are speedos in the microwave.

Insult

Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:

"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣

Pillow

I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!

Acne

What's the difference between Andy and acne?

Acne waited until Adam could talk before coming on his face.

Rottweiler

What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.

You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.