Short jokes
My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!
Me: I got 60 kills!
My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!
Me: What's Call of Duty?
So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?
Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
How do you see past that forehead?
What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?
They both can't hear their parents.
If I had to rate the attack on the Twin Towers from the Muslims, I'd give it a 9/11.
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
The twin towers were the best soldiers ever. Stand together, fall together!
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."
Me: Pretend your name is “puberty.”
Friend: Ok?
Me: I'mma hit puberty!
*hits my friend*
Yo mama so stupid,
she thought DUNKIN' DONUTS was a basketball team.
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
What was going through the head of a 9/11 victim on the 88th floor?
The 89th floor.
I played Clash of Clans, and when I requested troops, all I got were some Muslim wall breakers.
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.
The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"
How do you kill a spider?
Just get an autistic person.
What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?
Slaves.