Short jokes
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails.
What famous book writer for kids loved insects?
Beatrix Potter.
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
Why couldn't the twins never do anything right?
Because they were triplets!
You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
KK or Liv?
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
What fruit is square and green? A lemon in disguise.
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
I see 6 letters in "the past."
I have 2020 vision.
I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.